Have you ever found yourself treating prayer like it’s Amazon Prime for God? I know I have. I’d add items to my spiritual shopping cart—good grades, relationship fixes, career success, health concerns—click “pray now,” and expect two-day spiritual delivery on my requests. Free shipping included, of course!
For years, my prayer life looked like a divine wishlist: “God, I’d like this, and this, and oh—could You throw in some extra patience for dealing with my toddler? Thanks!” I’d check my life’s front porch daily, wondering when my spiritual packages would arrive.
But through my mental health journey and growing faith, I’ve learned something I wish I’d understood years ago: Prayer was never meant to be our heavenly delivery service. It’s not about asking God to magically fix our problems or grant our every desire like some cosmic genie who exists to fulfill our wishlist. It’s something so much deeper and more beautiful than that.
What Prayer Was Never Meant to Be
We so often approach prayer with requests like: “Please let me get an A+ on this test!” or “Please make this person like me!” We treat God like a vending machine where we insert prayer coins and expect our desired outcomes to drop right out.
This transactional approach to prayer can leave us feeling disappointed and even abandoned when things don’t work out the way we hoped.
I know I’ve been there—praying desperately for relief from anxiety or depression, only to wake up the next day feeling the same heaviness. It’s easy in those moments to think, “What’s the point of praying if nothing changes?”
But what if the purpose of prayer was never about getting what we want? What if it’s about something deeper and more transformative?
Shifting Our Prayer Perspective
What if instead of praying, “Please let me get an A+ on this test,” we prayed: “Please give me wisdom, focus, and clarity for this exam”?
See the difference? One asks God to do something FOR us; the other asks Him to develop something IN us.
One treats God like a servant; the other recognizes Him as a Father who wants to grow our character and walk with us through life’s challenges.
When we shift our perspective, prayer becomes less about outcomes and more about relationship. It’s less about getting what we want and more about becoming who we’re meant to be.
What Prayer Actually Is
At its heart, prayer is meant to communicate with, thank, and glorify God. It’s like having coffee with your closest friend, except this friend knows you better than you know yourself. When we pray regularly, something beautiful happens:
- Our attitudes begin to change as we align our thoughts with God’s
- We draw closer to God and learn to recognize His voice more clearly
- Our relationship with Him strengthens, just like any relationship that receives time and attention
- Our lives start aligning with His will (instead of trying to bend His will to match ours)
- We find peace and strength even when our circumstances haven’t changed
When we say “Amen” at the end of a prayer, we’re actually saying “I agree with Your plan, God.” Not “please do what I want,” but “I trust Your way.” That’s huge, right?
It’s a declaration of trust, not a demand for results.
When Prayer Seems “Broken”
I’ve seen so many people turn their backs on faith because of “unanswered prayers.” Trust me, I get it. When I was deep in depression, it felt like my prayers were hitting a ceiling. I prayed and prayed my little heart out, but nothing seemed to change. Each morning, I’d wake up with the same heaviness, the same struggle to get out of bed. Where was God in all of this?
But sometimes God’s answers look different than what we expect, and sometimes the transformation happens so gradually that we don’t notice it until we look back. And yes, sometimes we need to pair our prayers with action.
Think about it like this: If you’re struggling with your health and you pray for healing, God might lead you to a doctor or inspire you to make lifestyle changes. The healing comes through these channels, not despite them. That doesn’t mean your prayer wasn’t answered; it means God often works through practical means.
Remember that whole “faith without works is dead” thing? It totally applies here.
Prayer was never meant to be passive. It’s an active conversation that should inspire and guide our actions.
The Relationship Aspect of Prayer
Think about it like this: When you were a kid and asked your parents for a new toy, them saying “no” didn’t mean talking to them was pointless. The conversation itself, the relationship, was valuable beyond just getting what you wanted.
Prayer works the same way.
Sometimes the greatest answer to prayer isn’t getting what we asked for—it’s experiencing God’s presence in the midst of our pain or disappointment. It’s feeling understood and loved when nothing else makes sense.
When God seems silent, it doesn’t mean He’s absent. Sometimes His presence is quieter, more subtle—like sitting silently with a friend who knows you don’t need words right now, just company.
Faith + Action = Growth
Let me give you a personal example. I spent most of my life writing fiction and dreaming of being an author. I prayed about writing again after a long break, and guess what? Instead of the fiction I expected to create, ARMR Collective was born! God had completely different plans than I did.
Here’s the thing though—I was so resistant at first. I was so attached to my dream of writing fiction that I almost missed my actual calling. I kept trying to force my fiction projects forward, wondering why they felt so difficult, why the words wouldn’t flow. I nearly missed God’s answer to my prayer because it didn’t match what I thought I wanted.
Eventually, I surrendered my expectations and followed where He was leading. And that’s when everything changed. But it didn’t happen just because I prayed—it happened because I paired those prayers with actually sitting down and writing, even when it was hard. Even when imposter syndrome was screaming at me. Even when I wasn’t sure anyone would ever read my words.
The prayer gave me direction and courage, but I still had to type the words. I still had to edit. I still had to face my fears of sharing vulnerable pieces of my heart with you. Sometimes God’s answers to prayer look completely different than what we expected—I thought I’d be writing fiction, but God called me to share these deeper truths instead. How many times do we miss God’s answers because they don’t look like what we asked for?
We can’t just randomly ask for a raise out of the blue without putting in the work and expect God to make it happen. That’s not how it works. God will bless those who put Him first, absolutely, but He also expects us to do our part. Prayer gives us clarity about what that “part” is supposed to be.
Prayer as Spiritual Formation
One of the most beautiful things about prayer is how it changes us from the inside out. When we regularly come before God with open hearts, we begin to see things differently. Our priorities shift. Our compassion grows. Our perspective widens.
Prayer isn’t God’s vending machine—it’s His workshop, where He gradually reshapes our hearts to look more like His.
Sometimes that process feels wonderful, and sometimes it’s painful. Growth often is.
But here’s what I know for sure: every moment spent in genuine conversation with God is transformative. Even when it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Even when the changes are so subtle we don’t notice them until months or years later.
A New Way to Approach Prayer
Prayer isn’t a tool—it’s a connection. It’s not about getting stuff; it’s about growing closer to God.
When we shift our perspective from “what can I get?” to “how can I grow?”, something amazing happens. Our prayers become less about our wishlist and more about our relationship with Him.
Try approaching prayer differently this week:
- Instead of just asking for things, spend time thanking God for who He is
- When facing a challenge, ask for the character qualities you need to navigate it well
- Practice listening in prayer, not just talking
- Remember that “Amen” means agreement with God’s plan, not just “please make this happen”
- Look for God’s answers in unexpected places and people
So next time you’re about to pray, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Am I treating this like a divine delivery service, or am I seeking a deeper connection? The answer might just transform your prayer life.
I want you to know that wherever you are in your prayer journey—whether you’re frustrated with seemingly unanswered prayers or feeling distant from God—it’s okay. God can handle your honest questions and doubts.
Sometimes the most authentic prayers are the ones where we tell God exactly how we feel, even when those feelings aren’t pretty.
I’d love to hear about your experience with prayer. Has your understanding of it changed over time? Has God answered your prayers in ways you didn’t expect? Drop an anonymous comment below and let’s chat!
