This week at my small group, we were exchanging our salvation stories. When I was a kid, I used to wish I had a dramatic salvation story. My story is a slow burn, very unexciting, unlike some of the women in my group. I found myself comparing my story to theirs, subconsciously “ranking” our pasts.
I’ve even caught myself feeling relieved that my sin isn’t “as bad” as someone else’s.
There’s an unspoken hierarchy most Christians operate under when it comes to sins. We place sexual sin at the very top, followed by addiction, anger, gossip, “little white lies”, and put being judgmental at the very bottom—which is ironic considering the person ranking these sins is committing the sin at the bottom of their list.
But when Jesus died on the cross for our sins, He didn’t say, “I’m dying extra hard to cover the sin of x.” None of us are worthy of grace on our own anyway.
So, why have we built a ranking system? And what does that ranking system reveal about what we actually believe about grace?
The issue here isn’t whether some sins have greater consequences or not. Instead, we look at how the world punishes sin differently and use that to build a merit system where “lesser” sinners feel MORE qualified for grace.
But that isn’t grace. Romans 3:23 tells us that we all fall short of the glory of God.
This isn’t just a theological problem either. This is one of the biggest reasons some people hide their struggles in church. Ranking sins like this is actually works-based faith in disguise.
The Merit System We Built from Ranking Sins
I’m not saying all sins have equal consequences, earthly and heavenly. Different sins do carry different consequences. Jesus Himself acknowledged degrees of sin in John 19:11 when He tells Pilate “the one who handed Me over to you is guilty of a greater sin”. Murder and gossip have vastly different earthly impacts.
But this isn’t the debate.
Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is described as the only unforgivable sin which by definition sets it apart (Matthew 12:31). Different sins also carried different consequences under Old Testament law.
The problems start when we take that real difference and build a spiritual scoreboard from it where “lesser” sinners feel closer to deserving grace and “greater” sinners feel further from it.
This is just another type of works-based faith. Grace doesn’t operate on a curve. No one can be “more” or “less” worthy than someone else. Unworthy is unworthy.
In a parable in Luke 18:11, a Pharisee compares himself to a tax collector, saying, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people […] like this tax collector.” The Pharisee may have been right that the tax collector was a worse sinner. But Jesus didn’t argue with that. He just said it didn’t matter—because the tax collector came with humility, and the Pharisee came with a scorecard.
When it comes to salvation, we’re ALL unworthy. The playing field at the foot of the cross is perfectly level.
Why We Rank Sins
Our brains are wired for comparison and pattern recognition. We tend to categorize things to make sense of the world. We rank everything: best restaurants, schools, severity of crimes, etc. So, it’s natural we’d do this with sins too.
Putting sins in a tiered system gives us a sense of self-protection, too. If we can convince ourselves that our sins are “less bad”, we’ll feel safer. Our salvation feels more “secure”. We don’t have to sit with the uncomfortable reality that we’re just as dependent on grace as the person whose sin we’re judging.
Ranking sins also gives us a sense of control or moral order. If sin is truly equal in its need for grace, it feels chaotic. It means the gossip in the pew is just as dependent on the cross as the huge scandal, and that’s deeply uncomfortable.
And some churches reinforce this thinking. Which sins get preached about and which ones get whispered about? Which sins get an entire sermon series? The silence on some sins and the volume on others teaches us the ranking before anyone says it out loud.
The Shame Hierarchy: The Mental Health Cost
Ranking sins inherently creates a shame hierarchy. Which sins are “acceptable” to share in the church—impatience, worry, struggling with anger? Why are others deemed “unspeakable”—addiction, sexual sin, etc? And why do some churches treat mental illnesses as sins?
To be clear: mental illness is NOT a sin.
The shame hierarchy that sin ranking creates bleeds into how the church treats anything with a stigma…and mental health often gets caught in the crossfire.
The same sin ranking culture that says “my sin isn’t as bad as yours” also says “my struggle is MORE acceptable to talk about than yours”. With this thinking, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and addiction (just to name a few) get treated with the same hushed judgment as the “top tier” sins.
Not because these are sins—again, they’re NOT—but because the ranking system almost trains the church to sort everything into two categories: shameful or acceptable.
Most of us don’t hide our sins because we’re unrepentant. Most of us hide because the ranking told us our struggles are too “shameful” to speak about. Gossiping? Acceptable to talk about. Struggling with anger? That’s okay, we all experience that. Fighting a porn addiction? Hmm, edging into tense territory here. But don’t even SAY the word “unfaithfulness”.
Most of us know we need help with our particular sin. But we might be afraid of how our church community will treat us because of our sin or struggle compared to someone’s “lighter” sin.
Judging other people’s sins eventually drives them underground, away from community, away from healthy accountability, and sometimes, away from faith entirely. I’ve heard of too many former Christians who left because they felt judged by their sin.
And when it comes to the mental health stigma in the church, this sin ranking system is one of the primary reasons mental health remains taboo. If our struggle is ranked as “worse” or “shameful” or “why don’t you just pray more?” or “just have more faith”, of course silence would feel safer than confession.
We need to offer GRACE and LOVE when confessing sins to each other. No holding it over their head. No using it as a weapon later. No judging. Just love and grace.
James 5:16 tells us to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” This assumes a safe community to confess in. We need to create safe, loving spaces for healing, spaces that don’t rank sins.
But Accountability Does Still Matter
“So are you saying all sin is fine? That we just let people do whatever they want?”
No. This is the other side of the problem.
Cheap Grace vs. Costly Grace
We tend to view grace in two different ways: cheap grace or costly grace. Grace is FREE, but it cost EVERYTHING. Cheap grace treats Jesus’s sacrifice as a permission slip to sin whenever we want since He died to forgive us. But costly grace acknowledges the greatest gift and prompts us to repent.
Paul speaks on this in Romans 6:1-2 saying, “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!”
Genuine repentance (which I’ve written about here) involves turning. Not just apologizing over and over. Grace covers us AND transforms us.
Biblical Accountability vs. Weaponized Accountability
But again, accountability gets weaponized too. Biblical accountability is speaking the truth in LOVE. It’s rooted in relationship, restoration-focused. It “comes alongside” and is gentle (Galatians 6:1). It’s applied equally regardless of the sin.
Sin ranking disguised as accountability looks like selective outrage or public shaming. This weaponized accountability is usually wielded by someone whose “lesser” sin gives them a sense of moral authority. Truth gets spoken without love, sometimes without any investment in the relationship at all.
Ask yourself: Am I holding this person accountable because I love them and want restoration for them? Or because their sin makes me feel better about mine?
Stay in Your Lane: Christians and Non-Christians
Everything above applies within the church. But what about outside it?
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:12, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?” Accountability is a family conversation.
We can’t hold someone accountable to a covenant they never made.
Expecting non-believers to live by Christian moral standards is like grading someone on a test they never signed up for.
But We’re Not Apathetic Either
BUT this doesn’t mean we’re apathetic towards non-believers. “They’re not Christians so whatever, they can sin” is NOT the posture either. Love, witness, seed-planting—not shoving the gospel at someone, but living it so visibly that they start asking questions on their own. Matthew 5:16 tells Christians to “let your light shine”—not shine your light directly into people’s eyes.
We can’t legislate, shame, or force anyone into the Kingdom. Forced repentance isn’t repentance.
The Irony
What’s ironic is we sometimes skip the hard internal work (holding each other accountable with gentleness and humility) and jump right into policing the world. The FALLEN world. Again, it’s not a lost cause, but why do we tend to ignore the gossip, pride, and judgment in our own house and protest the stranger’s lifestyle? This is just sin ranking at a cultural level.
And this is NOT about superiority either. Holding fellow believers accountable is NOT because Christians are “better”. It’s because we’re family. The correction comes from love and shared commitment, not from an elevated position.
And yes, there are moments when the Holy Spirit prompts you to speak truth to someone you don’t know. That’s not what I’m talking about. There’s a difference between a Spirit-led conversation where God opens the door and self-appointed moral policing where we kick the door down.
One is love. The other is control.
When Accountability Becomes Abuse
If you’re coming from a toxic church environment, where “accountability” was used as a weapon, where confession leads to public humiliation, or where leadership uses your vulnerability against you—that is NOT biblical accountability. This is spiritual abuse.
If this resonates with you, I’ve written about recognizing spiritual abuse and knowing when it’s time to leave a church.
You’re not crazy. And you’re not alone.
Whether you’ve been hurt by the ranking system or you’ve been the one ranking—and most of us have been both—there’s a better way forward.
Grace Doesn’t Keep Score
I won’t lie to you: when I hear about the latest scandals in our culture, sometimes the first thought in my head is, “Whew, at least I haven’t done THAT.” If you experience this too, next time it happens, catch yourself. Recognize what’s happening. We’re rebuilding a pretend merit system the cross destroyed.
The Gospel doesn’t say “you’re less bad than that person”. The Gospel says “none of you are worthy, and I chose all of you anyway.”
Grace is the great equalizer. It doesn’t rank. It doesn’t tier. It meets every single one of us in the exact same place—undeserving and LOVED anyway.
I’ll leave you with Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
We’re not going to get this right overnight. I’ll probably catch myself ranking again by tomorrow. But there’s freedom in catching it, naming it, setting down the scorecard, and remembering that grace never asked us to keep score in the first place.
