We’re almost four weeks into the “Grand Church Search”, and I’m learning that finding a healthy church is a lot harder than I expected. Not because healthy churches don’t exist—but because when you’ve been hurt or witnessed other people’s hurt, it’s hard to know what “healthy” even looks like anymore.
Last week, I wrote about red flags and when to leave a church. This week? Let’s talk about what you’re actually looking FOR. Leaving is only half the journey.
A quick disclaimer before we dive in: Perfect churches DO NOT exist. All churches will have problems because they’re all full of sinful humans. All have fallen short. But healthy churches acknowledge problems and work to address them. Unhealthy churches hide, deny, or even enable problems.
We’re not looking for perfection. We’re looking for humility, transparency, and growth.
We need to have grace for imperfection. AND standards for health.
10 Green Flags of a Healthy Church
1. Accessible, Servant-Hearted Leadership
At my childhood church I remember our pastor greeting people in the lobby after the service—not in a “shake hands and move the line along” way, but actually talking to people. Someone mentioned a sick family member, and he pulled out his notebook right there to add them to the prayer list. It was such a small thing, but it stood out. Looking back, I realized I can’t remember ever seeing our old pastor just…available like that.
Accessible leadership looks like pastors who actually shepherd, not just preach. It’s being available for pastoral care—not just for staff or high-level donors, but for regular members who need prayer, guidance, or just someone to listen.
Keep in mind that this DOESN’T mean the pastor has to be your best friend. And we can’t just drop in unannounced and demand their time. This also doesn’t mean it’s bad if leadership needs staff to help with pastoral care.
1 Peter 5:2-3 says to “shepherd the flock…not lording it over them.” Likewise, Mark 10:45 tells us that Jesus came “not to be served but to serve.”
In our church search, one of the first questions we ask is, “How can members connect with pastoral staff?” The answer tells you a lot.
2. Accountability Structures
Leadership shouldn’t operate solely in isolation. Ideally, there should be a board, elders, or some denominational oversight. Financial decisions should also be made transparently. If concerns or grievances arise, there should be a process in place to deal with each.
We need to listen for “We have elders who meet regularly” or “Our denomination provides oversight”—not vague answers like “We all hold each other accountable.” Leaders should submit to accountability, not just demand it from others. Without accountability, spiritual abuse can go unchecked.
It’s important to note that different models work: elder boards, leadership teams, denominational structures, etc. The key is that SOME form of accountability exists.
In Hebrews 13:17, it says leaders “will have to give an account.” Additionally, Proverbs 11:14 speaks of “in abundance of counselors there is safety.”
3. Discipleship Over Decisions
Is there a clear path for spiritual growth beyond, “Just join a small group!” What happens AFTER someone gets baptized? Because I’ve noticed some churches celebrate salvation like it’s a finish line. They count the hands raised, announce the baptism numbers, throw a party. But then… crickets. No follow-up, no mentorship, no clear next steps.
Healthy churches see salvation as the STARTING line. New believers are followed up with and integrated. Mentorship opportunities exist. The goal is transformed lives, not just baptism statistics.
This doesn’t look like altar calls with no follow-up, celebrating salvation stats without bearing fruit, or programs that check boxes but don’t actually disciple.
2 Timothy 2:2 says to “entrust to faithful people who will TEACH others.” We can’t just celebrate someone’s salvation without helping them along the way afterwards.
4. Financial Transparency
The church budget should be available to members. And giving needs to be taught biblically, not manipulatively. No one should be guilted into tithing. We’re told to give with a cheerful heart (2 Corinthians 9:7) but it’s hard to do that if we’re being manipulated into giving. Toxic churches often use financial manipulation as a control tactic.
So what should we look for? Simple: Can we see where the money goes if we ask? Or is it secretive? If it’s available and transparent, that’s a green flag. If asking about the budget gets you weird looks or defensive responses? That’s telling.
This also means that leadership salaries are reasonable and disclosed. Money should be stewarded well for ministry.
But this DOESN’T mean that pastors can’t be paid well. Every single dollar doesn’t need congregational approval. And we also don’t have to agree with every single spending decision.
5. Questions and Doubts Are Welcome
When questioned, leadership shouldn’t get defensive. Pay attention to how churches respond when someone asks a hard question. Do they shut it down? Get defensive? Or do they engage thoughtfully? Because doubt isn’t a threat to healthy faith—it’s part of the journey. Faith doesn’t exist without unbelief, after all. We’re allowed to ask “why” without being labeled rebellious or unfaithful. Healthy theological discussion should be encouraged.
This doesn’t mean that every single opinion is equally valid, though. We can’t just argue endlessly without submitting to what Scripture says. The Bible is the ultimate truth.
In Acts 17:11, the Bereans “examined the Scriptures…to see if what Paul said was true.” They went to Scripture to fact check PAUL. The guy who wrote half of the New Testament!
Healthy leaders WANT you to test what they teach. Unhealthy ones see questions as threats.
6. Fruit of the Spirit Evident in Leadership
Leaders should demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And not just in sermons, but in real life.
None of us are perfect. I’ve seen videos of pastors who preach kindness and then flip someone off in traffic. And yeah, that’s not great. But we’re not looking for sinless perfection. We’re looking for humility when they mess up.
The test is: Do you see Jesus in them, or just a performance? When they screw up (because they will), do they own it? Do they demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control—not just on stage, but in real life?
Matthew 7:16 says, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” What fruits are harvested from your church leaders? The answer will tell you a lot.
7. Gospel-Centered, Grace-Saturated Teaching
Jesus needs to be central to every sermon. Not just mentioned, but CENTRAL. And grace and truth need to be balanced.
I’ve sat through sermons that were all truth, no grace, where I left feeling crushed under the weight of my sin with no hope of redemption. I’ve also heard messages that were all grace, no truth, where sin was minimized and accountability was nonexistent. Both are harmful.
Truth without grace is crushing. Grace without truth is enabling.
We need both.
The whole counsel of God needs to be taught, not just favorite or “feel-good” topics. But conviction leads to hope, not despair. Teachers should not condemn or talk down to their congregation. Conviction should be difficult, but hopeful. And teachings need to be biblical above all, not just motivational.
Note that this DOESN’T mean never addressing sin or avoiding hard topics. And only preaching “happy” messages won’t help anyone’s spiritual growth.
8. Genuine Community, Not Just Programs
This looks like people actually knowing each other. You can tell within 10 minutes if people actually know each other or if they’re just friendly strangers who see each other once a week.
Genuine community looks like people knowing each other’s names, asking about the surgery someone mentioned last week, or inviting the new family over for dinner without needing a “connection card” to remind them. Care happens organically, not just through official channels. Relationships exist beyond Sunday morning.
This being said, churches are still allowed to have programs and structure. Not everyone has to be best friends with everyone. And this definitely doesn’t mean all megachurches are horrible, or small churches are better.
Hebrews 10:24-25 tells us to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” We need to uplift each other and prioritize community.
9. Care for the Hurting and Poor
The church should actively serve those in need. Resources need to go beyond the building and programs. Instead of just preaching compassion, churches should demonstrate it.
Do they have an active benevolence fund? Do they partner with local shelters or food banks? Do they talk about serving “the least of these” in concrete terms, or is it just vague “love your neighbor” platitudes?
Jesus said, “Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me” in Matthew 25:40. We are to steward our possessions responsibly while caring for those less fortunate than us.
10. Doctrine You Can Align With on Essentials
Any church that claims to be Christian needs to agree on the core Christian beliefs: deity of Christ, resurrection of Jesus, authority of Scripture, and salvation by grace through faith. But we’re allowed to disagree on secondary issues like worship style, end time views, how old the Earth is, etc.
There’s an old saying in Christian theology: “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” While this isn’t a Bible verse, it captures a biblical principle beautifully. Romans 14 calls these “disputable matters”—things we’re allowed to have different convictions about without dividing over them. Worship style? Disputable. End times timeline? Disputable. Whether Jesus is God? NOT disputable.
Questions to Ask When Visiting a Church
So, now that we’ve gone over some green flags of healthy churches, how do we know if the church we’re visiting exhibits them? Here are some practical questions to ask:
- What’s your discipleship process for new believers? Listen for an intentional pathway versus “just join a small group”. What’s the step after joining a small group? Is there a clear path for spiritual growth that’s not dependent on church members, but has the staff investing in you too?
- How can members connect with pastoral staff? Try to discern between accessibility and gatekeeping. How available are pastoral staff? Is it like spotting a rare owl if you see them in the wild? Or is it an everyday occurrence to run into them?
- What’s the leadership/accountability structure? If something goes awry, are there checks and balances or is it a one-man show? Are problems swept under the rug and never heard about again, or are they addressed with transparency and humility? Is there some sort of structure that holds leadership in check?
- How are major decisions made? Are big decisions made in secrecy or transparently? Does the congregation get to weigh in on large decisions that will affect them?
- What happens when someone is struggling spiritually or personally? Do they receive pastoral care or have to “deal with it” on their own? If you’re facing a crisis, are you able to access someone from the pastoral team or anyone from staff to help? Or are you left to handle it alone?
- How does the church handle conflict or sin among members? Is there a biblical process involving resolution, forgiveness, and grace? Or is everything just swept under the rug? Are certain sins deemed “worse” than others, or are there some sins that lead to getting kicked out of the church altogether? Are problems handled once in private, one-on-one, then elevated according to Scripture (Matthew 18:15-17)?
- Can you explain your beliefs on [core doctrine]? Listen for biblical clarity versus vague platitudes. This isn’t about being combative—it’s about making sure you’re on the same theological page. If a church can’t clearly articulate what they believe about Jesus, salvation, or Scripture, that’s a problem. We’re called to test everything (1 Thessalonians 5:21), and healthy churches welcome that kind of discernment.
- How does the church serve the community and those in need? Is there an active ministry out in the community, serving those who need help? Or is the church only focused inward on itself?
How they respond to each of these questions matters just as much as the answers themselves.
What To Do While You’re Searching
It can be easy to slip into the routine of not going to church every week. I’ve noticed with us, we’ve only visited one church since we stopped going to our other church. It got too easy to sleep in on Sundays and say, “We’ll just go next week.”
We need to remember that while we’re searching for a church, we have to stay connected to God.
Our church search doesn’t pause our relationships with Jesus.
We can still do personal devotions, worship in the car on the way to work, and pray. This is just a season, not an identity.
We also need to be sure to give churches a fair shot. Visit 3-4 times before making a judgment. One bad sermon doesn’t mean it’s a bad church. And talk to actual members, don’t just observe. Interact with the church as a whole and get a gauge on all of it.
Trust your discernment. If the Holy Spirit is unsettled in you after visiting a church, pay attention. But remember: there’s a difference between “this is unhealthy” and “this isn’t my preference”.
Lastly, be patient with the process. Finding the right church can take time. Even though we’ve visited one church and have only gone once, I’m already feeling discouraged. I’ve thought about going back to our other one before remembering why we left. We have a few more churches on our list to check out and just need to hold on until then. Remember to keep trusting God’s leading. He’s calling you into the season of Church Searching for a reason.
Finding Your Church Home
Searching for a church can be exhausting and confusing. But as long as we have standards, grace, and discernment, the right one will come along at the right time. We can’t settle for unhealthy environments, demand perfection, or confuse preferences with core issues.
We’re still in the thick of our church search. I’m feeling discouraged now, but this process, as uncomfortable as it is right now, will be worth it when we find our new church home.
Finding a church home where you can actually grow, heal, and serve isn’t just worth the search. It’s worth the wait.
If you’re in the middle of your own Grand Church Search, I’m praying for you. I pray you find a community that feels like home, not a trap. A place where your faith can flourish instead of fade.
Until then, keep showing up. Keep trusting. Keep believing that healthy churches exist, because they do.
