As the holidays wind down and we all scramble to establish new habits in the new year, you may be thinking back on that Christmas Eve candlelight service. The flickering amber ambience, Silent Night echoing throughout the dimmed space, maybe even goosebumps prickling your arms.
But then the lights came back on, and it was time to run out the door to head to Auntie’s house for Christmas Eve. Did I remember to grab everything? Did I remember little Jonny’s gift?
The ethereal experience you may have had quickly leaves your mind and makes you wonder, “Was all that real anyway?”
What if you stood there, clutching your candle and singing your heart out and felt…nothing? “Is there something wrong with me?” you might wonder.
It’s easy to look back on a moment and question if it was genuine, especially when it comes to churches. Did I really feel the presence of God or did the fog get in my eyes? Did I really hear God’s voice or was the music just too loud?
The broader tension here comes from churches arguing over HOW to worship instead of WHO we’re worshipping. There are churches who swear by their clanging cymbals and light shows and others who stand by their hymnals and organs. But these two camps both claim biblical authority and condemn the other. The concert church points to Psalm 150’s crashing cymbals. The traditional church points to “be still and know”. Both claim they’re the ones doing it right.
God meets us both in loud celebration AND quiet contemplation.
The problem isn’t the worship style, but when we make the METHOD more important than the encounter itself.
So, how do we discern genuine worship from manipulation from either direction (chasing a spiritual high) and find freedom to encounter God authentically?
John 4:23-24 says, “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshippers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”
Worship is about Spirit and Truth, not about style and preference. Let’s break down both sides of this worship debate.
The Concert Church: When Atmosphere Becomes the Point
I won’t lie, I love a good, loud worship session. I love the loud music, the lights, the fog—it feels like a concert for God in the best way possible. I love singing at the top of my lungs and not hearing anything but the music.
But it’s easy to slip into the performance of it all, especially if on stage. What happens when worship turns into a performance or event instead of collective expression? We can start to rely on the “spiritual high” created by the atmosphere and measure our spiritual health by how emotional we get during worship.
If you ask anyone who goes to a church who does worship like this, they’ll likely reference Psalm 150: “Praise Him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Him with the harp and lyre, praise Him with timbrel and dancing, praise Him with the strings and pipe, praise Him with the clash of cymbals, with resounding cymbals.” They place emphasis on the loud, exuberant, emotional worship of the Lord. David danced before the Lord “with all his might” (2 Samuel 6:14). This loud, joyful worship IS biblical. But it can quickly cross into spiritual manipulation if we’re not careful.
When It Crosses Into Manipulation
Worship like this can create a spiritual high and dependency on “you can only feel God HERE, in THIS way.” And when the high fades? You could be left wondering if your faith was ever real at all.
Maybe you feel shame when you don’t cry or raise your hands or get goosebumps during worship. Maybe you look around and see everyone else so into it, but you can’t get there. This happens to me if I don’t like the song (and yes, we’re allowed to not love every worship song—just saying). We can’t measure our spiritual maturity by our emotions.
Another problem arises when the worship experience is designed to create emotion rather than facilitate genuine encounter with God. This creates the spiritual high where we can’t tell if we had an encounter with God or if it was just a great performance. When this becomes our only way of encountering God, we never learn to recognize Him in the ordinary, quiet moments of Tuesday morning prayer.
The Bible warns us against this. Amos 5:21-23 tells us that God rejects worship when it’s performative without genuine heart engagement. We can’t perform for our own glory instead of God’s. 1 Corinthians 13:1 says, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal!” The sound and styles of worship means nothing without genuine love for God.
The Hymnal Police: When Tradition Becomes the Point
Here we have the other side. This kind of worship may only allow certain instruments to be played (organ, piano, acoustic guitar, etc). Contemporary music may be condemned as too worldly and showy. As with the concert churches, there is rampant judgment of those who worship differently. The churches with traditional worship may equate reverence with “quiet” or “somber”.
Traditional worshippers may use Scripture like Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God” and Habakkuk 2:20, “The Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him” to back their quiet, reverent, contemplative worship. And this type of worship is also biblical, just like loud, exuberant worship is biblical, too.
There’s nothing wrong with traditional worship (if I’m being honest, I’m not a huge fan, but everyone has their preferences, and neither one is “right”). But a problem arises if it starts to create rules God never established.
When It Crosses Into Legalism
We need to be careful not to add rules into Scripture that aren’t there to begin with. Traditional churches often point to Colossians 3:16’s reference to “psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit”, arguing this means traditional hymns, not contemporary music. They emphasize 1 Corinthians 14:40—“everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way”—to suggest that emotional, concert-style worship is disorderly and irreverent. Some even cite James 4:4 about friendship with the world, claiming that music sounding “too much like a concert” is a worldly compromise.
But these verses don’t actually establish rules about which instruments to use or what musical styles are acceptable. They’re about heart posture, order in corporate worship, and staying focused on God rather than the world. Making them about organ vs. guitar is adding to Scripture what isn’t there.
We also need to stop judging hearts based on worship methods. I don’t have “less faith” because I like loud, electric guitars and ambient lighting. Likewise, my sister doesn’t have “less faith” because her church doesn’t do a big light show or have fog during worship. And my Catholic brother doesn’t have “less faith” because they sing from a hymnal every Sunday.
We miss the freedom Christ gives us with worship when we impose rules God doesn’t require.
Mark 7:6-8 warns against this: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules. You have let go of the commands of God and are holding onto human traditions.”
So if both sides have biblical support, what’s actually going wrong here?
The Real Problem: When We Make It About US Instead of God
Both extremes share the same problem. The concert-style church says, “My experience and emotion matters the most” while the traditional church says, “My preference and comfort matters the most.” But these both miss the point. Worship is about GOD, not us.
What if the worship style you prefer isn’t actually about encountering God, but about your comfort zone?
The concert church asks, “Did I FEEL anything? Did I cry? Did I get goosebumps?”
The traditional church asks, “Did they do it the RIGHT way? Were they reverent ENOUGH?”
But healthy worship asks, “Did I encounter God? Did my heart connect with His? Am I singing to glorify Him?”
1 Samuel 16:7 says, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
The method doesn’t matter; we can worship God with a harmonica and a kazoo if our hearts are in the right spot.
What we need to watch out for are unhealthy worship environments.
How to Discern Genuine Worship from Manipulation
Signs of Healthy Worship
Healthy worship is freedom to encounter God in multiple ways. We can be loud, quiet, dancing, still, hands raised, hands down. Instead of focusing on our emotional responses or perfect form, we can direct our attention on heart transformation. Our attention should be focused on Jesus, not the experience itself or the “right way” to worship. Healthy worship builds spiritual maturity, helping us recognize God in all of life, not just in corporate or church worship. And questions should be welcomed. We can’t get defensive when people process their experiences and have genuine questions.
Healthy worship doesn’t just prepare you for Sunday—it equips you for Monday through Saturday.
It teaches you to recognize God’s presence in your morning prayer, your lunch break, your drive home. Corporate worship should strengthen your individual walk with God, not replace it.
These are all signs of healthy worship, freedom to praise God however we prefer so long as our heart posture focuses on glorifying God. When we try to manufacture this experience or condemn others for doing it “wrong”, that’s when we get into trouble.
Red Flags of Manipulation
When churches create a process for the perfect emotional spiritual high and convince you it’s the only way to meet God, this is a major red flag. How do you know if you’re really experiencing God in the everyday moments if you think you need lights, fog, and loud music to encounter Him? Some of my best worship sessions are in my car, music turned all the way up and singing at the top of my lungs. I try to recreate the exuberant worship experience in my car. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I just don’t.
Many people genuinely encounter God in concert-style worship environments. That’s not automatically manipulation. The challenge is discerning when production facilitates worship versus when it creates dependency. This isn’t always clear at the moment. Sometimes it takes distance to recognize the difference.
Churches that intentionally create emotional experiences and equate them with the Holy Spirit are crossing into manipulation. They’re not pointing you to God. They’re creating dependency on their production. They want their members to become dependent on them for encountering God and need all the extra performative measures to do it. This creates an unhealthy reliance on them and stunts spiritual growth by not teaching us how to experience God in the still, quiet moments.
So what about the other side? The traditional style of worship?
Red Flags of Legalism
Traditional churches might condemn those who worship differently, claiming their way is the best and only way to worship God. They add rules and requirements Scripture doesn’t give and present them as God’s commandments. These environments can create anxiety instead of peace. The fear of “doing it wrong” or “not feeling it” overrides any peace or comfort.
The problem here is these churches aren’t saying “this is our preference”, but “this is God’s command”. They take their tradition and elevate it to biblical command, then condemn anyone who worships differently as worldly or sinful.
This creates a different but equally harmful spiritual environment. Instead of chasing emotional highs, we’re walking on eggshells trying to worship “correctly”. Instead of feeling spiritually empty when the music fades, we feel spiritually condemned when our worship does not fit the formula. We start to believe God is a rigid commander who only accepts worship in one specific form.
But Scripture shows us He delights in diverse expressions from genuine and humble hearts.
Brain Chemistry of Worship (Why Discernment Is Tricky)
Now, here’s what makes discernment tricky: our bodies are designed to respond to worship. Singing, music, communal experience—these aren’t just “emotional tricks”. They actually change our brain chemistry by releasing bonding hormones (oxytocin), lowering stress (cortisol), and creating meditative states.
God made us this way. Our physiological response to worship is part of how we’re wired to connect with Him.
But the problem is this: that same response can be triggered whether we’re genuinely encountering God or just experiencing a well-produced emotional moment. Our brains don’t automatically distinguish between Holy Spirit movement and atmospheric manipulation. The feelings are real either way.
This is why manipulative churches can be so effective. They’re not creating fake feelings. The feelings are real, and the brain chemistry is real. But it crosses into manipulation when churches use that biological response to create dependency, claiming “if you felt something, that was God” when really any humans singing together in a darkened room with swelling music can produce that response.
And this is also why traditional churches can miss out. By rejecting all emotional expression, they might be rejecting the very way God designed our bodies to respond to worship.
So if our feelings can’t be the measure—if brain chemistry is the same whether it’s genuine or manufactured—what CAN we trust?
The answer Jesus gave us: look at the fruit.
Biblical Tests for Genuine Worship
Does this worship environment produce fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Does it produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Matthew 7:15-20 says, “You will know them by their fruit.” If a church’s way of worship creates fear, shame, or guilt, it’s not coming from the right place, regardless if they use lights and fog or not.
1 Thessalonians 5:21 tells us to “test everything; hold fast what is good.” In the same vein, 1 John 4:1 says, “Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God.” Again, look at the fruits. Cast your own biases aside and focus on the emotions invoked.
Living in the Freedom
God’s worship portfolio is diverse, from ancient psalms to modern worship anthems, from solemn hymns to exuberant celebration. Scripture tells us that shouting, silence, dancing, stillness, instruments, a cappella, corporate, individual worship is ALL allowed as long as our eyes remain fixed on God. Think of David dancing with all his might (what a dance that must’ve been), Mary pondering in her heart, disciples in the upper room, early churches sharing meals, Paul and Silas singing in prison—there’s no “one right way” to praise our God. He’s far bigger than our preferences.
Spiritual maturity doesn’t restrict us—it expands our freedom.
We can encounter God in the concert atmosphere AND in the quiet chapel. We don’t need one specific method to access God’s presence. (Singing my favorite worship songs in my car on the way to work usually does the trick for me!) We can recognize God in the ordinary, everyday moments, not just in produced experiences. And we need to remember to extend GRACE to those who worship differently. We aren’t here to judge others or assume their heart postures. We have no way of knowing if someone else is worshipping genuinely—only God knows their heart. But we CAN examine our own hearts and motivations.
Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” We have freedom in Christ to worship and praise Him how we wish.
What This Means for You
If You’re Questioning Past Experiences…
You’re allowed to ask, “Was that real?” without shame. After experiencing spiritual abuse, I started to question some of the things I heard from the Holy Spirit. But I’ve learned that God can reach us even in unhealthy or bad environments. Just because we encountered God in a place like that, doesn’t mean we need to stay. And just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean those experiences weren’t real. God can work even in broken systems, but He doesn’t require you to stay in them.
There can be real spiritual value in that season AND unhealthy dependency created. What we can do now is learn to recognize God in multiple settings, not just the “high” moments.
If You’re Church Shopping…
Watch for: Are multiple worship expressions welcomed? Or is there only “one right way”? Does the church create dependency or build spiritual maturity? Does worship point to Jesus or to itself? And most importantly: does this environment produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life?
If You’re in a Healthy Church But Still Processing…
If you’re happy where you are, there’s nothing wrong with that. Give yourself grace for days where you may not “feel it”. Practice encountering God in different ways. If you normally go to a concert-style church, try silence. If you come from a traditional style church, try celebration. Your spiritual growth isn’t measured by emotional experiences OR perfect reverence.
If You’re Stuck Between Two Extremes…
You don’t need to choose one or the other. God is present in both expressions when done with genuine hearts. Test the fruit of the worship environments. Do they produce love, peace, and spiritual growth? Or anxiety, pride, and division? Trust your God-given discernment. Where do YOU authentically connect with God? It doesn’t have to be the same thing every time; preferences shift with our moods. Maybe one day you want to shout for joy and another you want to sit and just listen. There is no right way to worship.
Worship in Spirit and Truth
The questions aren’t “Was that real?” or “Did they do it right?” The questions we should be asking ourselves are, “Am I free to encounter God in multiple ways? Am I worshipping from a genuine heart to praise God?”
Think back to that Christmas Eve service again, if you went. It doesn’t matter if the dimmed lights and angelic singing gave you goosebumps or not. Did you encounter God? And if the answer is no, that’s perfectly okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. Some days we might not feel it, and others we may be glowing from the inside out with the Holy Spirit.
No matter our preference at a given moment, we’re allowed to worship authentically in whatever form connects our hearts to God’s. Whether it be in the concert atmosphere, in the quiet chapel, or anywhere in between. Let’s focus on WHO we’re praising rather than fighting over the HOW.
If you left church on Christmas Eve wondering if it was real, maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. But God is still present beyond that moment. If you’ve been told you’re worshipping wrong, test it against Scripture, not human tradition.
And you don’t have to pick a “side”. Jesus is the center.
The rest? That’s just preference, and we have freedom in that.
